By Susanne Biro
Stanley Kubrick once said, “If you can talk brilliantly about a problem, you can create the consoling illusion that it has been mastered.” As Kubrick suggests, knowing what to do and actually doing it are two very different things.
I doubt that many of us need additional information about how to be a more effective leader, as much as we need to find a way to consistently apply what it is we already know. We may attend a valuable workshop, class or industry conference, and yet most of us will continue to do Monday morning what we did the previous Friday afternoon. Why? Largely, because it has worked well; it has led to our current level of success. However, as the title to Marshall Goldsmith’s latest book warns, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.
In order to benefit from such education, training or networking opportunities, we must do something different. If this sounds obvious, it is. However, in the real world, common sense is quite uncommon, and the scenario that too frequently plays out is as follows: We attend an event and obtain valuable information, insights and contacts. We leave excited, determined to apply that information and reach out to our new network. However, by the time we get back to the office, we are quickly inundated with demands and, despite our very best of intentions to do differently, we revert to status quo. It is not that we don’t know what to do, but rather, we lack the discipline and motivation to consistently apply that knowledge.
Let me ask you this: Do you need someone else to tell you what is most important for you to do? Not likely. My guess is that you already know, but perhaps because you are not fond of the answer you hear when you ask yourself the question. You do what you have always done or, worse, you do what is easy. Oh, the many ways we lie to ourselves …
The great analogy is diet and exercise. Do you really need more information about how to live a healthy life? Not likely. It is all pretty basic isn’t it? Eat well, don’t smoke, limit alcohol, reduce stress, and get a decent amount of sleep. Knowing this isn’t the issue. Now, try applying that knowledge consistently. To continue the analogy, many of us will start reading a diet book, buy (another) gym membership, or hire a personal trainer and tell ourselves we are taking the necessary actions. Although all appear to be steps in the direction of living a healthy life, none alone will get us the results we are seeking (i.e. a slimmer, healthier body). No book or trainer can do our sit-ups for us. The same is true in leadership. It is not enough to know what to do - you actually have to do it. And, more often than not, leadership will require you to do what is most difficult in each moment. So, if you were waiting for it to feel good, you are going to be waiting a long time. In my experience, most of leadership feels awful.
“You will certainly stumble. Failure will stalk you like a predator. The toughest problems will be yours alone. You must take responsibility for the failures and give credit for the successes. Lose the fantasy that you will be cherished, immortalized and revered. Expect long hours and few moments of gratitude.” – The Leader’s Voice by Clarke & Crossland
The truth is we often know we need to do something far in advance of us actually doing it. I can’t tell you how frequently, in the midst of a conversation regarding a client’s struggle with a direct report, I have interrupted to ask, “Do you think this individual is ever going to get it?” And, without missing a beat, my client responds, “No.” My next question, “How long ago did you know this?” The answer is frequently six months to a year. My client and I then spend the next hour discussing how they could have listened to themselves earlier, applied their knowledge, and saved the organization time and money (not to mention, avoided the disappointment and frustration they were now experiencing).
Coaching is a growing profession because it is about the application of knowledge. There is no way to end a conversation with an experienced coach and not walk away changed. An effective coach will hold up a mirror so clearly that a leader will no longer be able to operate at the level they have been operating. They will become wise to themselves, and that bell can no longer be un-rung. The coaching process demands that leaders more fully listen to themselves, trust themselves, and perhaps most importantly, act on their knowledge.
Consider This:
What is the single most important thing you need to do this week for you as a person? What is the single most important thing you need to do this week as a professional to advance the business? What will ensure you do both?
Susanne Biro is the Director of Leadership Coaching and co-author of Unleashed! Expecting Greatness and Other Secrets of Coaching for Exceptional Performance. She can be reached at susannebiro@bluepointleadership.com
