Getting the Most Information Out of Every Conversation
By Jim Boneau
In a recent interview, U.S. Navy Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff shared two insights he received when he was promoted to Admiral. The first was that the new Admiral would eat better food than he had ever eaten before in the Navy. The second, and more ominous advice, was that in his new position, he would never again be told the full truth by those serving underneath him. His new rank changes everything. People will now ask themselves “What should I say?” rather than “What does he need to hear?”
Likewise, as a leader in your organization today, you have “rank”, and it has an enormous influence on the information you receive. You may not be eating the best food of your career, but you are, most likely, not fully informed by those around you of many of the critical business and organizational issues impacting your success (or lack thereof). This lack of information severely restricts your effectiveness as a leader. The information is available – it’s just not getting to you.
What can you do to encourage others to tell you the whole, unvarnished truth? I have found in my work as a leadership coach and facilitator one particular question, posed at the right time, lifts a conversation to a whole new level of openness. That question is, “What else do you want to tell me that you haven’t?”
Most people I encounter have something more to say beyond the initial set of facts they present – something more to say than what is on the surface. And that something often affects the business, the people and the success of the organization’s mission. However, since the withheld information is often the more controversial, or is judged as not really important, it is often left out of the initial conversation. It takes additional probing to uncover these hidden nuggets.
Before asking the question, remember these three pieces of advice on getting the most out of the question.
Timing – I find this question most effective near the end of a conversation. Most conversations have a rhythm. I can feel the end approaching: the pace slows down, eye contact begins to waver, and actions items are set. There’s an awkward pause in the conversation. It’s around this time that I pose the question, “What else do you want to tell me that you haven’t?”
Tone – It’s important to not put the person on the defensive when asking the question. Use a tone that is more curious than accusatory; more reflective than demanding.
Presence – Your presence as a leader has a direct impact on the answer to the question. In Unleashed, Thompson and Biro introduce the concept of leaders “Earning the Right” to enter into a coaching relationship with another. The same is true here. Is your presence one that encourages trust and openness from others? In order to get the full truth, you have to be seen as having a presence that encourages others to go out on a limb to tell you the information that will give you the full picture.
Information is power in organizations. Asking this simple question, “What else do you want to tell me that you haven’t?” at the right time, with the right tone and the right presence will open new communication channels. The resulting information could propel you and your organization to greater levels of success.
This post is “Not even wrong.” There are two business people in America who want the truth—Warren Buffett and Charles Munger, and that is because they are owners, not managers.
Are we to believe, for a moment, that this Admiral wasn’t about spinning those to whom he reported.
Munger’s wise counsel, well stated in The Psychology of Human Misjudgment, is far more helpful. Pay people to tell you the truth and they will. You did not counsel such (nor better yet) tackle exactly how such can be done.
Comment by John — February 10, 2009 @ 7:50 am
When it comes to leaders and team members alike; they don’t know what they don’t know.
To add to your list of inviting questions for additional knowledge or information sharing I would like to recommend a question I learned from Bob Johnson during a Coaching seminar early last year, Can you tell me a little more about (subject)? Other questions include “Do you feel like you want to say more about (subject)?” or “How do you feel about (subject)?”
I have found that asking questions which are tied to a person’s emotional grounding have more affect on a person wanting to elaborate more. Leader’s today should invest in employees that can constructively push back. The proverbial “Yes” man in today’s environment will only cast a darker shadow on the areas that need the most light. To ensure you are not left in the dark with regards to information, leaders must get comfortable with asking provoking questions.
With respect to the job market crisis that has occurred across industry lines for well over a year now; employees are experiencing a heightened level of emotion. Instead of theorizing about the idea of doing more with less, they are being forced to practice it. Getting to the heart of the matter might take a bit of coaxing however, I have found that taking the time to build a strong bond with team members where unbiased knowledge sharing can truly occur strengthens the team and increases their profitable impact.
Comment by Adolph Escobedo — February 10, 2009 @ 3:05 pm
Excellent article and the issue is very much alive and well in my current organization.
In my part-time life as a professor of communiction, I teach my students that the concept of “information filtering” begins at some point in childhood. We begin learning what to tell mom and dad based on their reactions to the relative (no pun intended) risk/reward of the sharing event. That pattern of behavior is well established by the time we become adults in the workforce…effective parenting usually will lead to a pattern of honest an open communication later in life not only in the work place but in all walks of life. Each of us has our own built in cost/benefit analysis meter for communicating with people we perceive to have power over us. Your article hits the nail on the head - leaders must understand that these filters exist and find the key to unlock the filter for each individual in their organization. In my full time life as a battalion fire chief, I work hard to develop a trusting relationship and get through the filters…but sometimes you just never really know what people are hiding (my 8 year-old daughter is still teaching me new lessons every day!)
Comment by Jeff Giraud — February 11, 2009 @ 10:28 am